Monday, March 1, 2010

Biscuits and Bagels and Monday, Oh My!

Happy March-day everybody! (is that a word? march-day?)

You love them, I love them, everybody loves them. The flaky, fluffy, buttery bits of joy that are biscuits! Mondays are awful, so I whipped up a big batch last night in hopes to improve them. They could fix anything, in my opinion. I brought them in, and my friends and I ate them at lunch. You could hear the drool from everyone who saw the big ziploc bag of yumminess. I don't know how it went in the cafeteria, because I had to go to a meeting about politics. Fun. Guess what? Half the people at my table have anticonsumptionofbiscutsitis. But people who don't sit at my table were happy to finish them up. If you don't have the horrible disease my friends do, I've got a recipe guaranteed to add a bit of homespun goodness to your monday:
2 cups flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup cold butter, cubed
2/3 cup milk (you could use buttermilk, but I used 1%)
1 egg, lightly beaten
1. Preheat oven to a warm, toasty 400 degrees
2. Sift together the flour, baking powder, and salt. I whisked them together because I don't like sifting, so I whisked them. You could sift if you want.
3. Cut in the cold butter with your fingertips. Yes, your fingertips. You're going to get dirty, but don't worry. It's for the good of the food.
4. Get your sacred spoon. You know what I mean, that one wooden spoon that tackles anything and everything. Got it? Good. Pour in the milk, and mix it all up into a big ball of, well, goo. Be sure to mix in as few strokes as possible, lest you create the elastic, plastic, structure called gluten. (dun dun dunn...) Ever had a nice, chewy, french loaf? You have gluten to thank. Ever had a disgusting, tough biscuit? (Yes, bad biscuits do exist... It's sad but true) You have gluten to blame.
5.  Roll out the dough on a lightly floured countertop about 1/2 inch thick, and cut out as many circles as your pastry ring can make. For pastry rings, you have two options: pastry rings and clean tuna cans with the top and bottom cut out. They cost the same, but one comes with tuna. One Doesn't. You make the choice. I used the cap from my cooking spray.
6. Put the circles on a lightly greased cookie sheet and brush with the beaten egg (you could go without the grease, but you don't want to risk sticking after you've put all that work in), or a cookie sheet with a piece of parchment paper on it. No, not the parchment they use in Harry Potter, paper impregnated with silicon, guaranteed to be nonstick. You can find it in most grocery stores these days right next to the tinfoil, plastic wrap, ect. I'd love to take you on a long, loving tour of each and every one, but that's another blog post. For another time.
7. Bake for 12-15 minutes, and use the time to clean up that big mess you probably made.
8. Take out, and eat immediately. Or take to your friends to brighten up monday.

Okay, has anybody else seen those green bagels at Stop & Shop? Raise your hand. Come on, do it. I see you, you, and you. Hey you! Green pants! Raise your hand. You've seen these. My baby sister was eating one this morning, and when she cut into it, I was greeted by a play-doh green circle of confusion. Seriously! It looks like play-doh. My other sister said that they were just plain bagels and green food coloring, but for me, that's just too boring. I wonder what Saint Patrick's day flavored bagels would taste like...

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  1. MMMMM! Biscuits! Anything that involves a stick of butter is good in my book. Have you ever tried mixing in additions like raisins, lemon zest or chocolate chips?

  2. Makes me want to mess up the kitchen!

  3. i feel so special posting a comment that goes out into the large internet world and no one is probably going 2 read except u. so here is my comment, DON'T B MEAN 2 THE GREEN BAGELS! they r green,which is a cool color, and they r a bagel, a yummy delicious bagel that u can toast and put cream cheese on. but i applaud u 4 making yummy biscuits cause i like those, but what u needed 2 do is serve them with country gravy and mashed potatoes. everything tastes better with gravy and mashed potatoes1 :)

  4. ahh... carolyn would not be able 2 appreciate ur amazing biscuits cause they have gluten. a moment of sadness 4 those who were not able 2 taste the buttery deliciousness of ur biscuit-making skills. :(